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Ron's Blog: Just As Cool As Kirk

Ron Faircloth
17 September 2008


My name is RON FAIRCLOTH and I am way more AWESOME than you. Honestly, I make you look like a nerd. I'm sorry, but it's true. If we were all in “Star Trek” you know I'd be Kirk. You'd be that extra guy in the red shirt. I get all the ladies and then you die at the end of the show. OOOOHHH, you're from engineering? Who cares, nobody knows your name and you don't have a blog. Kirk does. Add it up friend; I'm cool like the back side of the pillow! Also I have to add that Demian works in injuneering. Right down the hall from the red shirt guys.

Delaney came in Todtoday for morning training. Straight outta, I haven't seen him for a month, and decides to block Demians kick like he's catching a basketball. You know, straight fingers.....Any who......He dislocates his middle finger. Bad....It was running sideways. So, I have to finish his round while he takes cry time. Next, Demian holds him, Pat secures the finger, and I cover his eyes. He gets my glove all wet with tears, I count 1...2...3 and punched him hard in the fupa and he yanks back pulling his finger back in place. Now he's mad I punched him in the dun-lop, but his finger is fixed.....I'm like a doctor, and we're a full service gym. It must be nice for the guys to know we have a doc on staff. I also learned how to do stitches this weekend. How cool is that? I can now give IV fluids, stitches, and fix dislocated parts.....I believe that makes me an MD. It's amazing that this much talent and knowledge can be contained by this mortal shell. Angel can't fly on one wing, baby!
OK, down to business. I fight one week from Saturday in Racine. It's a wrestler from Iowa or Ohio. Some place with four letters, I don't remember. I'm feeling good about this fight. Kind of late notice and I will struggle with the weight. 25 pounds to go. I'm so fat, yet so pretty. I don't really have a game plan, but I'll figure something out. I'm still smiling about Lunchbox's fight last Friday. It was super sweet. Lots of punches and blood. Lots of knees and ugly face made by both guys. I ripped ugly face off from a Mario Sperry video. Gotta give props to Sperry's broken English.
I hyped about Red's fight on Wednesday. I heart seeing Kaz on TV, he always looks scared. Maybe he has a phobia of cameras or severe lust for sweat drenched men. I'm not sure which it is but something makes him make funny faces. I hope Red chokes Houston quick. Of all the people I have worked out with Red is the slickest by far. I would just go and see how long I could keep him from submitting me. Not a lot of me trying for submissions, just a lot of me trying to avoid them. A big head kick by the red one would also be cool. Any way you want to win is OK by me, Red.
Well, tomorrow is my day to work as a handyman this week so I have to go to bed. I think I'll watch Blade Runner while I'm there. If you guys want to come over and watch with me you can, or call me and we'll set up a movie night. I can only fit like, five guys in my bed, so if it's more than that, bring a sleeping bag and a pillow. I know you're thinking “How does Ron, the guy who invented the atom, know only five guys can fit in his bed?”  All I can say is I can't even hold in a turd. No O ring left. Dark days my friends, DARK DAYS. Maybe we can ride bikes, too.
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17 September 2008

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