Ron's Blog: Sound the Trumpets
I am Ron Faircloth fresh back from fighting my way out of a black hole. It was tough, but I pulled it off. No joke here, people have been calling me asking me to write another blog. It's almost like I have fans. I've had some time off and now I have alot of thing to say. I have some big news that I can't tell until next week. I'm like a kid at Christmas; I wanna tell everyone.
So, vacation was great and we caught 20,000 lbs of fish in Key West, so I had a bit of cash on vacation. Not so much now. I'm about to start an escort service where I take rich people out on dates and for a bit extra I finish them of happy style. Hey, I gotta pay the bills.
While I was in Key West, which is where I was born, I looked for Jimmy Buffett. He wasn't around anywhere. I had a non-alcoholic beer at Captain Tony's with Lunchbox. You may be wondering why I drink non-alcoholic beer. The fact that I get any kinda buzz and I want to make the world bleed is reason one, not to mention beer in the Keys is expensive. After Key West it was off to Puerto Rico and the Caribbean. I snorkeled with John, the most hated man on the UG, and caught a starfish as big as my torso. I swam a mile with it to show my wife who wasn't at all impressed. I was offered white, green, and red. I was tempted to take the red because I have no idea what it is. We went to St, Thomas, Barbados, Dominica, St. Kitts, St. Lucia, and one more place I can't remember. I will someday live on one of these island and spend my days fishing off a bridge. Oh and I almost forgot. John got sick on rum punch at the beach and got scared so he went to the infirmary. They sent him back to his room so he came to mine and we went to eat.
My friend and partner Pat O'Malley won the belt on Duke's show. It was cool. The guy was extra hard looking. Like you look at him and you know he fights or is part of an underground bite pit. He should really be training at our gym. Duke's guys are all kinda smooth looking and we all look like we came in on the bottom of someone's shoe. I also got called to the cage at Duke's show and was allowed to give a very motivational speech. I do my best to spread kindness and I try to never look foolish. I feel I pulled both of those things off. I would sure hate to embarrass myself.
In closing I would like to add that Demian Decorah broke his leg at the last Throwdown. That being said, I am looking for a new friend that will come workout with me and not cry all the time about broken parts. Serious Demian, I know you were hurt, I felt bad, let it go. I thought you people had ways to fix that stuff. Clap your hands and rub them together and fix it. Can't you make some herbal liquid that'll fix it or at least hold back your tears? Work on that.
Who do you think would win in a fight; Lion-O from the Thundercats or Thundar the Barbarian? I vote on Thundar. IF YOU VOTE DIFFERENT YOU'RE WRONG!